Every February 14th, across the United States and in other places around the world, we celebrate love: Candlelit dinners and walks under dreamy starlight, overflowing bouquets of red roses, packages of lingerie and bottles of sweet perfume, sparkling rosé or bubbling champagne, romantic comedies, and kisses – both chocolate and French, have all become characteristic of Valentine’s Day.
And each year, when this day rolls around in all its romantic, heart-shaped glory, we’re encouraged to share the Hallmark holiday with another person.
Whether a fling or a flame, a sweetheart or a soul mate, Valentine’s Day presents the urge to be with a special someone to truly and fully engage in the occasion. How sweet and lovely…right?
Well…let’s think about this notion, shall we?
What if it just so happens that we don’t have a Valentine on this day – another lover to lock lips with? Perhaps some of us are single, and we choose to spend the night with buddies or girlfriends or – *gasp* – alone…? In this case, for my single guys and gals out there this year, the idea of Cupid’s arrow flying through the air might feel more like a pain in the ass than a dreamy shot at the heart.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not a pessimist, and I wouldn’t even call myself a realist. I’m an idealist – a true romantic at heart completely open to the possibility of love, on every day of the year. And I’m not denying the reality that sharing Valentine’s Day with a special someone would make the holiday feel more special and appropriate, for all of us. Yet, I don’t think enjoying the occasion is necessarily contingent upon the presence of another person.
As Nat King Cole croons over tender trumpets in “L-O-V-E,” his classic ode to affection, he sings: “love is more than just a game for two.” Not to take Mr. Cole’s line out of context from the rest of his romantic anthem, but perhaps, in this particular moment, he’s right. Maybe love isn’t solely an experience or a feeling palpable between two people. Can’t one person experience love, by him or herself, without the obligatory presence of a counterpart?
Perhaps Valentine’s Day then isn’t solely meant to celebrate the romantic presence of another in our lives. Maybe beneath the mounds of rose pedals and heart-shaped candies lies a number of alternate possibilities: why not claim the whole box of Godiva chocolates all to yourself, buy yourself the lingerie you’ve been eyeing in Agent Provocateur’s store window, or even pop open a bottle (or a few) of Veuve Clicquot with your close group of friends while watching your favorite rom-com together?
Valentine’s Day is indeed the holiday of love, but the occasion isn’t solely reserved for those in a relationship. We all hold the capacity to open our hearts to love and affection – to others, but also, to ourselves.
So – cheers to embracing the holiday as an opportunity for sweet self-indulgence, and for doing what you love for yourself. Happy Valentine’s Day to all of my romantics out there – taken and single alike.
XOXO,
